keep being awesome! (via passiveaggressivenotes)
My Conversation with a Telemarketer.
- Telemarketer: Excuse me sir, but it has come to my attention that you have received a postcard in the mail that entitles you to two complimentary tickets aboard the Carnival Cruiselines to a destination of your choice. Now there is no purchase necessary but I'm calling to follow up on the offer we gave you. Now if you can grab a pen and paper, I can give you the confirmation number you will need to claim your tickets.
- Me: Uh, okay.
- Telemarketer: N as in Nancy, J as in John, One, One, Four
- Me: Got it
- Telemarketer: Okay, I'm going to begin asking you a series of questions and you are to tell me what category you fall into. Are you currently Married, Single or in Disunion?
- Me: Single
- Telemarketer: (beat) Are you Engaged currently or...?
- Me: Nope
- Telemarketer: Are you seeing someone? Living with a girlfriend?
- Me: Nope
- Telemarketer: Are you interested in anyone? Friends with Benefits?
- Me: uh... No?
- Telemarketer: I'm sorry but you do not qualify for our package, but if I can get your name, there is another promotion we are running that you do qualify for. What is your name?
- Me: Moses Roberts
- Telemarketer: Okay, if you can hold tight for one second, I can transfer you.
- Me: Okay. *hangs up*
“Why would you be afraid of death? It would be an inconvenience. I have a lot of undone things and it’s bound to get in the way. But, no, it doesn’t scare me at all.”
— David Carradine
You know what the world needs? More pulp action stories. Check out Scott Morse’s Dawn of the Gearheads on his blog.
Greatest Commercial Ever
Michael Jackson would be proud.
“You are wasting your reproductive years”
— My neighbor Moe when I told him I spent my weekend watching Romance Comedies.
“God may forgive — that’s not enough…”
— Dan Auerbach
Yankee Gal. An amazing animated short that has soul.
